Her words were the last things I heard before succumbing to the deep chasm of sleep.
I let go.
I fell into the light.
And this time, darkness didn’t claim me. This time, I soared into the clouds because I held an angel in my arms and she made me deserving.
As long as I had Tess, I wouldn’t go to hell. She made me worthy. She made me better.
I’d won.
We’d won.
We’d fought for our happily ever after. Lies had become truths. Tears had become smiles.
Everything was as it should be.
We deserved our triumphs.
Chapter Fifteen
My salvation
My together
Q left me when dawn arrived.
Kissing my temple, he clambered sorely out of bed. “See you in a few hours, esclave.”
I held onto his wrist, not wanting him to go. I couldn’t understand why one moment I was giddy with joy thinking of what today meant for us, then I wanted to throw up. I was nervous, excited, happy, freaking out.
“You promise you’ll be waiting for me?” I didn’t understand my sudden insecurities. It just seemed like everything I’d ever wanted existed in a future I daren’t grasp. I didn’t want to think how close to perfection we were just in case it turned out to be fate’s cruel joke.
Q bent over, his eyes tightening with pain thanks to his blue and black body. He stood naked, wearing his wounds with pride. The bandages on his legs stained with pinpricks of blood. “I’ll be the one sweating at the top of the aisle hoping to hell you haven’t changed your mind. Je vais t’épouser aujourd'hui, Tess. Pas de fuite.” I'm marrying you today, Tess. No running.
My heart strummed. Before I could reply, he left, walking his fine butt out of my room. My eyes trailed after him, landing on his bruises. My stomach heaved with anger.
Killing Lynx wasn’t enough for what Q endured. I loved Q more than life itself and I’d finally proven I deserved him. I’d accepted the feral part of myself and survived. I suffered no remorse, none. And I would do it all again if I had to.
Q disappeared down the corridor. The next time I see him he’ll be mine for eternity.
He’d be my husband.
The nerves in my stomach switched to sublime happiness. Unstifled joy sprang me upward, hurling me out of bed to meet my future.
I spent thirty minutes in the shower, giving myself no time restrictions to shave, primp, and prepare. The luxury of enjoying my own company with no dark thoughts ruining my happiness was priceless. I’d forgotten how it felt to be weightless—joyous.
Suzette arrived at eight a.m. giving me just enough time to order room service of fresh fruit and an omelette, and douse myself on coffee. The closer we came to the ceremony the more my tummy churned. Nerves fluttered unhindered, slicking my palms, racing my heart.
I wanted to be Q’s so badly—I couldn’t relax until it came true.
Suzette came bearing gifts.
Make up. Shoebox. Covered dress. And a bag that looked suspiciously like lingerie.
“Morning. Hope you slept well.” She dumped the items on the bed, looking like the complete master of whatever she’d planned. Looking me up and down, she nodded. “Good to see you’re showered and fed. Two things I can scratch off my to-do list.”
Two women with plaited black hair and sun-darkened skin appeared, looking to Suzette for guidance.
Suzette grinned, waving them into the room and toward the dresser with its white lacquered wood and large ornate mirror.
“We’ll set up everything over there.”
I didn’t say a word—I didn’t think I was expected to as Suzette assembled order at the dressing table, plopping bottles, lining up mascaras and eye-shadow.
Coming toward me, she grabbed my hand, marching me toward the chair. “Sit.”
I descended on the soft periwinkle stool and looked at myself for the first time in forever.
Oh, my God. Is that my reflection?
I looked haggard. My hair hung damp around my shoulders, lifeless. My skin looked ashen and the shadows under my eyes showed just how much I’d been through in the past few days.
But it was my gaze that scared me—that made my mouth hang open. I no longer recognised myself.
The crescent moon had completely changed me.
Gone was the softness—the innocence. I no longer looked like the insecure Australian girl I’d been. I’d stared death in the face; I’d stepped into the cloak of the grim reaper and stolen two lives willingly.
The grey was tempered with hardness, the blue glittering with strength. I didn’t look weak or lost or afraid. I looked ruthless. My eyes were no longer one dimensional but hid strength of character, trials overcome, sorrow defeated, and horror tamed.
I look like him.
I clutched my heart, realizing what’d changed. I’d adopted the same chilly sharpness that both Q and Franco lived with. I’d embraced something that would never be changeable. I’d evolved into a woman who no one would deny belonged beside Q completely.
Tears welled, turning my vision into a watery dream.
“Aw, Tess. It’s okay.” Suzette’s arms wrapped around my neck from behind, her soft cheek pressing against mine.
More tears fell but I wasn’t crying because of what I’d done. I cried because of what I’d become. I never thought I could be so strong, so self-assured—so…dangerous.
I’m worthy.
Finally—I was worthy. Not for Q or the abundant future he promised, but for myself. I felt worthy enough to be proud.
Suzette’s eyes met mine in the mirror. “I know you killed to get him back. Franco told me a little about what happened.” She pecked my cheek before pulling away, gathering my hair with her feminine touch. “You saved him—just as much as he saved you. Maybe even more.”
My life would never be the same. The chrysalis of the Tess I never thought I’d find finally cracked its final layer. I emerged into my new world wondrously happy, courageously strong, and deeply in love.
“You’re different, Tess,” Suzette murmured. “Is that what you’re seeing, too?”
I nodded, unable to believe the immense transformation.
I shivered as Suzette’s fingernails dragged over my scalp. Her touch was soothing. “I’m happy for you, mon ami. I won’t lie and say I’ve been waiting for that closure to come to me.”
Closure.
That’s what it was.